


Lookabulary

by FeatheredAngel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Mechanic Dean, Writer Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-09 15:08:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11671575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeatheredAngel/pseuds/FeatheredAngel
Summary: The monster that the society is doesn't leave spaces on its small mind to accept diversity.Castiel and Dean have to struggle to fight the monster who wants to  mess up with their relationship.If they have to fight it in a less than conventional way, they will. Even if it implies hide from it to accomplish it.





	Lookabulary

**Author's Note:**

> Piece inspired by the short story "Piernabulario" (Leg + vocabulary) from Andrea Maturana.  
> "Piernabulario" speaks about a secret language that a couple created so they could "speak" in public without being stared or judged by the people around them (mind the couple consist of a 17 y/o girl and a man on his thirties...which is not a good thing)  
> The "game" they played consisted on a form of communication only using their legs under the table in which every touch meant something.  
> I wanted to use this concept and apply it on a real good relationship (a gay couple, not an unhealthy underage relationship).  
> Enjoy!

They met on a coffeehouse two years ago.   
Castiel was a writer who craved solitude to write and good coffee to keep himself awake and his mind running, so finding The Roadhouse on the empty street where his house was located. He is not fond of calling it love at first sight; it was instant friendship which blossomed into something else as the time passed.   
It started with Dean who was there as a replacement for his aunt, working there for the week while she went on her second honeymoon with her husband. Castiel was the only customer at the moment he arrived and as focused as he was on his writing he nearly paid no attention to the man serving him his extra-sweet mocaccino and the piece of pie; he just ordered and proceed to take his laptop out of his bag to continue his work. It was just when the sweet honey scent flared on his nostrils that he distracted himself, that accompanied by the deep voice carrying the piece of pie.

  
"The password is ellenschocolate, all together and in lower case" the man couldn't be older than Castiel myself and had a sweet charming smile "maybe you'll need it” he pointed his laptop.

  
"Oh...thank you" Castiel who natural with words was found himself speechless by the stranger’s kindness. "Sorry" he added for his rudeness.

  
"No problem man, you looked really busy, what... ya're some kind of businessman or something?"

  
"Or something" answered Castiel completely unbothered by the man's interruption "I'm currently working on a novel"

  
"So you are a writer! That's awesome man, what are you famous or this is a first work; myself I would say the former, you look kind of familiar"

  
Castiel smiled "Not a first work, no" he extended his hand "Castiel Novak"

  
"Dean Winchester" he replied and shook his hand "wait...I remember you! You are Emmanuel Krushnic; my aunt Ellen loves your work"

  
"Does she?" He mumbled shyly. It was not uncommon for him to read that his work had a good reception but it was different from someone saying that to your face.

  
Nevertheless of the company, Castiel relaxed on that environment enough for him to finish the chapter that had him biting his lips for weeks.   
After that he kept coming back to write. Dean would be there for the week and when his temporary work ended he kept coming back only to chat with Castiel, sometimes even helped him when the man had any kind of block. Then there were hangouts in Cas's house at nights, sometimes only for Dean to appear randomly to cook for the careless writer who forgot to eat in all day, those days spent only in Castiel writing and Dean silently watching TV at his side. Along the way of those long days Castiel wasn't Castiel anymore but became Cas, same with Dean who was now Dean on Cas's eyes.   
When Cas book was finished it was celebrated by a drunken night in Dean's house with drunk-cuddling movies. So in the end, when Cas's won a PEN/Faulkner Award For Fiction with his novel Enochian, Dean was the first on line to hug him and kiss him senseless.

  
They were happy for a while. Nobody on their families bated an eye because of the transformation on their relationship, nor did any of their friends; they continued their lives with Dean working as a mechanic and Cas with his books, now living together as they've been together forever. But nothing is ever so good. They were accustomed to people outside their personal circle having their doubts or looking at them strangely, it wouldn't matter for them.

  
It changed; it always does, when the now engaged couple of two years had to move out of the city. Dean had been managing extraordinarily on his job and his boss decided to promote him; the problem? They would have to move to Manhattan; Cas was not really bothered by it, had close to no friends in Sioux Falls and no family, his work could be done no matter where he was living; Dean was another story, his family and friends were there and he was afraid to leave them. Sam, his brother, already left for California a long time ago, but Dean was not like him, he was a family man and needed his family with him.

  
It took him two weeks to decide but finally Ellen knocked some sense on his head and they decided to move out to Manhattan. The company where his Boss worked provided him with a small apartment close to the building where he would work purely restoring and repairing classic cars.   
The first night was when it started.   
They wanted to celebrate their new life do both dressed up with their best clothes and styled their hair the best they could. The restaurant was classy and nice, perfect for the couple who needed the privacy.   
At first it went well, their waitress took their coats and led them to their table, their menus were handed and they ordered.

  
Dean read his order and turned to his boyfriend "what do you want, babe?"

  
Everyone fell silent around them. An old couple sitting close to them snickered and quickly called for the check. A middle aged man looked at the waitress with anger on his eyes, and so it went on the restaurant. A woman with the restaurant uniform came to them.

  
"Excuse me sir, we must ask you to leave the establishment, such behaviour is not accepted here sir..." Castiel looked warily at her and spoke slowly.

  
"And what, may I ask, is considered such behaviour? We are not aware that such thing as ordering food of your menu mean in any way a form of disrespectful behaviour" Castiel had that kind of calm posture that usually meant he was utterly and completely pissed off.

  
"In this establishment we don't accept inappropriate behaviour such as people of your condition has" she spat the word condition and Castiel knew what was going on

  
"You mean that I and my boyfriend having a calm meal outside, acting just as everyone in this restaurant is doing are called inappropriate behaviour just because we are gay?" Dean stood from his chair and looked at her.

  
"We ask you again to leave or we will be forced to call the security" Castiel couldn't take it anymore, he just stood up as well as Dean and taking his boyfriend's hand he took their coats from the hanger and slammed the restaurant door behind themselves.   
It didn't end there. They were upset with that night's event but they thought it was only that place who would have that problem with gay people; the next time it would be better they thought, but it turned out it wasn't.

  
After Dean started working they made an agreement of always have lunch together, sometimes home or they would go out for the hour; quickly they realized that every time they found themselves being affectionate, even if it was just holding hands on the table, they would get the same looks every time. Once a mother covered his son's eyes when they passed besides them while Dean was scratching Cas' hair, then a couple of teenagers would spit 'faggots' when they passed by holding hands, even a man tried to punch Castiel on the face the one time he kissed Dean's cheek in public.   
They stopped going out together.   
On their building it was the same story. Once a disgusting looking man came to their apartment and banged their door telling them 'Fags' to keep the noise of their 'disgusting fucking' down or he would call the police to get them arrested for indecency, even if the man itself had a history of bringing prostitutes to his home when it was clearly illegal.   
It continued and keeps going for a while. It was night after night of both of them crying and feeling too ashamed to touch each other; they were drifting apart, even if it was subconsciously. But Castiel was tired of the distance, they were both unhappy, Dean was using most of his time working resulting in him being exhausted; Cas wasn't better, the distance wouldn't let him concentrate on his book and he was already delayed with his editor.

  
They hid from people; it was when the game started. It started with a glance, it wasn't more than small wink that meant 'you look good' then there was a special roll of eyes to the left that meant 'you are exasperating' and then the same roll with a barely-there-smile "you are exasperating but I wouldn't have it any other way" and that special spark on their eyes that would mean "I love you".   
Both didn't want to be apart anymore but they knew it wasn't so easy, they couldn't be so open with each other and the rest of the world about their love, they didn't want those things to break them anymore; the started talking as nobody else would, those gestures with their eyes would mean a thousand words they could not say out loud. They created their "lookabulary", the language that only the two of them would understand.   
They would go put again and talk like that. People would look at them and would just see two relaxed men having lunch silently, but for them it was hours worth of conversation and amorous words, everything only using their eyes.

  
It wasn’t ideal, it was far from it. They didn’t think they or anyone else should hide just because their sexual orientation, but this wasn’t their home like back in Sioux Falls, here they were the strangers and would be judge by everything they did. Being gay only made it worse.

  
They would start to touch each other again on the privacy of their home. They started to cuddle again before, during and after a movie night, then they started to flirty touch each other while cooking, just a hand on their shoulder, on their backs, on their butts, just what the couple used to do. When they found each other again while lying on bed and rolling in the ecstasies of their love, it felt like the world could start to spin again.

  
“I love you so much” Castiel would whisper on the post coitus relaxation. Dean would lie on his chest then and would kiss him back

  
“I love you too...babe”

  
They were good.   
Life wasn’t easier for them. They still had to live with the homophobic community around them; sometimes they would explode and would just kiss each other senseless in public, totally not caring for the assholes around them screaming awful things to them.   
Castiel started writing again. He stopped with fiction; it wasn’t what he wanted to write this time. This time he shared his experience with the world, he revealed “Lookabulary” for the world to see, for the LGTB+ community to use, to protect themselves. He shared for the world to keep fighting, to show the world that some things weren’t for them to take from Dean and Castiel; glances and feelings, that were theirs.

  
_“Dean and me, we kept fighting, we are not their property. We stopped hiding; we learnt to protect ourselves from the world. But don’t misinterpret me; we are not ashamed for being in love. Lookabulary wasn’t being ashamed of the glances from the world, we were proving in our own way that we overpowered their staring and transformed it in our way of showing love to each other. One bad look from them is nothing compared with the love we can share between us._

  
_I’m happy to say that finally to say that now in two months from tomorrow, thanks to our love and strength in fighting the world, Dean and I will get married in our former home, Sioux Falls, where we will seal our love to each other. Forever._

  
_I wrote Lookabulary not because I want us to hide. I wrote this because I found a way to fight the world who wanted me to feel ashamed of myself. I call you to do the same_ ”

 


End file.
